Valentines day finds me in solace. I’ve never had time to actually be lonely. But today I am. I have friends, great ones at that. But they’re all out having a drink with their significant other or celebrating v-day somehow. I’ve really been thinking about how I approach relationships lately. Someone once said that I was in love
with the concept of love. Something that I’ve --until now-- completely denied. Having acknowledged the latter, I’ve now changed my course. I have an idea on how to keep my feelings in check, as they only seem to develop when there’s some semblance of "love” (i.e. infatuation) rearing it’s ugly head. I’m starting to know the tell-tale signs and how to differentiate the two. I had a recent conversation with someone about that one time in my life when I was truly in love. It was perhaps the only time in my life that I couldn’t do without that person. It was the one time in life that I was able to forgive the slights and lover her unconditionally. I can’t say that I’ve had the opportunity to experience that again. My heart tends to freeze quickly at the slightest inkling of disappointment. Also among the tell-tale signs was the metamorphosis I’d undergone. It was a positive change. I was able to understand the full capacity of my love. I don’t think that anyone will ever be able to break into my heart and make me feel the way I did then or experience the things I did then. It was – to say the least – a spiritual eye opener. And for that, I’m grateful.
2 comments:
I really enjoyed this. I guess looking back in retrospect loneliness didn't hit me so hard in the past because time didn't afford it.
great blog!
thank you
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